Day 6: Ok… Worlds most effective alarm clock for me to date… Rolling onto my #killerleftboob…. Now that my eyes have stopped watering and I can see… Let’s try this.
Yesterday’s realization is an ironic one. This is the last “healthy” week I will likely have for awhile. Yesterday included a little anger as I looked at the beauty of the day and honestly at myself. Strange thing about cancer. I obviously don’t “feel” or “look” sick – sans pain from recent procedures. It also included a little bargaining, which I am quick to label these things as I do them. Talking with one of my besties, Lisa, I say… “This is probably bargaining but I just really think I can deal with any news on Tuesday except Stage 4, I just don’t know what I will do if it is Stage 4.” Then I went on to tell her the reasons it couldn’t be stage 4 and the survivability rate for each stage… Yeah the things your brain will keep handy…. Here is the great thing though. Lisa looked at me and said, “Yes, that is bargaining. You need to stop it. If it is stage 4 you CAN deal with that too. You can deal with whatever it is.”
You need warrior friends who will lovingly b!tch slap your @zz back to the front-lines of battle. My bestie who is former special forces likes to remind me that people go into special forces because they enjoy the challenges and it’s important that training “suck enough” – and if it doesn’t Cadre is there to help it suck more. It’s important to take you beyond what you believe your limits are. At least that was my takeaway Griff. oh and I’m sure if I missed the point your TAC side will kick in and you will let me know. (Guys… It is so hard not to fall into a Forest Gump, “Yes drILL SARgent!” )
I do like a challenge and I do love an adventure – this does promise to be both.
Love you guys and please keep the prayers, tips, tricks, ideas, humor (I am soooo glad you found your nipple Paletta ) and guys, please keep the love coming my way. You are all feeding my spirit and giving me strength. Much .