Day 112: Estrogen, ovaries, menopause… depression… ooooh my…

Ok, so I have to admit, it took me a few weeks to call my gynecologists office and for the first time in this process actually felt genuinely depressed.  I mean, facing instant menopause is not a fun prospect… a quick google search gives you this lovely list of 35 side effects or symptoms of menopause.  But as I mentioned in my previous post, the whole to have or not to have a child question was the big one rolling around in my head.  I am now 44.  At 44 I have no business having a child really.  So, finally I decided that if I am going to have my ovaries removed, I will inquire about freezing my eggs (btw – not a lot of studies on freezing the eggs of someone my age… yeah… that doesn’t make me feel ancient or anything… I could do a whole post on how depressing that was…).  The egg freezing option is what finally got me to pick up the phone and schedule the appointment.

During this little depression break, many friends have tried to assuage my concerns about menopause with stories about how it isn’t “that” bad.  Well perhaps not if it is your body doing it’s natural thing.  But seriously… this is one minute you have all your hormones and snippity snip, next you don’t.  The body doesn’t have an opportunity to adjust, it is instant AND you don’t get to supplement, because the whole point is to make you estrogen free.  Funny side bar, my little brother asked me, “Isn’t that what makes you.. you know… girly and stuff?  You are already pretty masculine… I mean assertive… what Continue reading →