Day 49: Getting my hairs set….

I remember great gran going to get her hair “set” – gonna try that today.  I simply have not figured out a way to stay safely dry while washing my hair here at home.  Not to mention the whole hands above the head thing.  Hmm…. Pretty much everyone has offered to help, but honestly, the salon chair seems the safest bet.  Shoot… might even put on some make-up…  the photo is of course my anticipated after… LOL

Strange dream last night – for those of you who are into dream interpretation.  I dreamt I was pitching a baseball.  Woke when my arm jerked and I had pain in my chest.  Did I really try to pitch a baseball in my sleep?  Heavens!  I am a menace!  Not sure if I did, or if the jerking was from the pain I felt.  Things to ponder… (see pondering image above).

Not gonna lie, in all the information I was sponging up yesterday, one of the most impactful was that cancer sort of announces to you that your impending departure from this earth will likely be sooner than you expected or planned for and that cancer being present in one place is often a harbinger of things to come.  As you start to get lost in the difference of absolute vs. relative results and risks.  It is hard to explain the myriad of thoughts that cross your mind in a single moment.  Keeping my mind right, to me, means that I do not accept the standards and norms as my own.  I don’t want to live in 5 year blocks of time.

In all the research, it is also amazing to understand the wonderful machine that is your body.  I am better learning how to support my own immune system through food and essential oils, yoga and meditation.  I have always eaten pretty well, but certainly not vegan.  I have a lot to learn when it comes to essential oils, yoga and meditation.  Two friends have recommended ZivaMind and I really did like Melode, the yoga instructor from Harmony Hill.  I will be seeking her out.

I am also busy learning about lymphodema and the impacts of removing the sentinel nodes.  No one really prepared me for this.  I did order an ugly but free bracelet for my left arm that reminds me and others – no blood pressure or blood draws from the left.  (For fellow warriors – free bracelet can be requested here: http://www.lymphedema.com/alertband.htm) We need cuter options… 🙂 I also need to find a massage therapist to help support the lymphatic flow and also work the muscles that will eventually support the replacement breasts.  My pecs are relatively firm from push-ups, pull-ups and exercise in general.  This is both good and bad.

Speaking of exercise in general, I am so thankful for being somewhat fit prior to this.  It is nice being able to use my core to sit up and move and not have to rely on my arms.  It is the little things… 🙂

Post-op tomorrow.  Please send prayers and positive energy for good pathology (i.e. clean nodes and good margins) and that the drains come out.  Tomorrow, I should also finally have a definitive “stage.”  Also, please pray for mental strength.  Tomorrow will be the first day I actually “see” the damage and view the results of the surgery.  Trying to be prepared…

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