Day 8: Diagnosis day round 2!

Day 8: Diagnosis day round 2! Now it is also Dental day… So it is double D day and I will let you all figure out the irony of that on your own! . Since the dentist does right by me and provides a right proper sedative (1 halcion before bed and one an hour before the appointment) I am guaranteed to be in a great state of mind for news I receive today! . However… I may not remember it…. . Last time I took halcion I had the best dental appointment ever! Apparently I took a mid crown procedure selfie (um…. EW) and sent it off to Rick who was out in the waiting room – I found the pictures later… Glad I didn’t do anything crazier with them! OMG! But basically the appointment went like this: checked in, said hi to everyone, hours later “woke up” having a peanut butter milkshake at Kid Valley on Lake Washington. ‪#‎truth‬ Dentist needs to coach Radiologist on how to relax a patient…

Rick has offered to hold my phone during the dental appointment… Um…. No!

No idea when we get pathology news…. As long as it is sometime today.

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ #‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 7a: Ended up back at radiologist.

Day 7a: Ended up back at radiologist. They called and said “How are you doing?” I say – massive pain – to the point of nausea and wanting to pass out. They say “Is it warm?” Me: “Yeah it’s warm – you stabbed it with an ice pick three times and took chunks out.” Her, “Hmm. Is it red?” Me: “Yeah, red, yellow and 50 shades of purple.” Her: “Hmmmm yeah you should come in.”

So – got to see the radiologist, he thinks it’s just a bad hematoma, recommends heat now. He also said they stabbed me with something larger than ice pick… 😐

He called pathology – they are still working stuff up. We wait another day. ⌚

Patience is a __________.

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob #‎breastcancer‬

Day 7: Today is diagnosis day.

Day 7: Today is diagnosis day. Probably not until after 3 pm. I am excited that I will have actual data – you know…. Because then I will have something to really worry about. This also means that a war plan is not far behind because with questions comes answers. (Also the 5 stages of grief – but we will get to that later)

The crab feed was fun last night. Also gave me a chance to practice my linebacker skills. Crowded rooms, lots of hugs and truly amazing people. 80‘s women’s suit shoulder pads coulda come in handy last night! Assigned a friend blocking duty for the left side. A few folks have seen my Facebook posts and were amazing in their love and support. I have a feeling people will continue to amaze me in wonderful ways on this journey. Is it strange that both excites and comforts me?

The U.S. greeting of “How are you?” has become slightly awkward in my mind. LOL. My usual “Great!” now feels a little false and that does bother me though it shouldn’t – but you know… for the most part that’s not a real question – thankfully. So perhaps this lil white lie will be forgiven. 😇

I didn’t have the crab – too many dangerous elbows flying at crowded tables in small spaces – and when something smarts you really feel like everyone is out to get it! . And I have no idea if biopsy sites are supposed to hurt like this – but it was a typical “Tammey” day yesterday, worked a full day and then at about 7pm my ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ was a major cranky pants. Made it home around 9:30 to my lovely ice pack with whom I have a somewhat complicated relationship.

So my good friend Dean must have seen the pain on it on my face last night. He saved me from the elbows and he whisked me away to Mercato’s. I couldn’t decide between the smoked duck gnocchi or the butternut squash ravioli, I ordered one – the waiter brought the other – realized his mistake and I ended up with both! Now that’s a fabulous mistake! . I really can’t say which was better! Best was all the space around me! No worries about a bump in boob there!

Since I have never been sick, geez… Never even broken a bone, this whole thing is a learning experience and I just don’t know what to expect – or how long it takes to heal – or what’s “normal” if there is such a thing.

On a prayer note – I appreciate all the prayer and positive energy being sent my way. I am so thankful for all my blessings, my friends and my family. Y’all just rock!

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

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Day 6: Ok… Worlds most effective alarm clock

Day 6: Ok… Worlds most effective alarm clock for me to date… Rolling onto my ‪#‎killerleftboob‬…. Now that my eyes have stopped watering and I can see… Let’s try this.

Yesterday’s realization is an ironic one. This is the last “healthy” week I will likely have for awhile. Yesterday included a little anger as I looked at the beauty of the day and honestly at myself. Strange thing about cancer. I obviously don’t “feel” or “look” sick – sans pain from recent procedures. It also included a little bargaining, which I am quick to label these things as I do them. Talking with one of my besties, Lisa, I say… “This is probably bargaining but I just really think I can deal with any news on Tuesday except Stage 4, I just don’t know what I will do if it is Stage 4.” Then I went on to tell her the reasons it couldn’t be stage 4 and the survivability rate for each stage… Yeah the things your brain will keep handy…. Here is the great thing though. Lisa looked at me and said, “Yes, that is bargaining. You need to stop it. If it is stage 4 you CAN deal with that too. You can deal with whatever it is.”

You need warrior friends who will lovingly b!tch slap your @zz back to the front-lines of battle. My bestie who is former special forces likes to remind me that people go into special forces because they enjoy the challenges and it’s important that training “suck enough” – and if it doesn’t Cadre is there to help it suck more. It’s important to take you beyond what you believe your limits are. At least that was my takeaway Griff. oh and I’m sure if I missed the point your TAC side will kick in and you will let me know. (Guys… It is so hard not to fall into a Forest Gump, “Yes drILL SARgent!” )

I do like a challenge and I do love an adventure – this does promise to be both.

Love you guys and please keep the prayers, tips, tricks, ideas, humor (I am soooo glad you found your nipple Paletta ) and guys, please keep the love coming my way. You are all feeding my spirit and giving me strength. Much .

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 5: Because I’ve never really been sick…

Day 5: Because I’ve never really been sick, except for when India tried to kill me and face it I still love her anyway, pretty much every couple hours I have new realization. Yesterday, one of the big ones was – I could lose my nipples. (Yeah… We are talking nipples people, ladies have two… Boys have two… My dog has 8… I think). This gave me a bit of panic, then an amazing loving most dear to my heart friend said… “What about tattoos?” 😯Who’dathunk?! Now I always said if I ever got a tattoo it would Hobbes – but this might not be the spot for Calvin & Hobbes. But all options are on the table… Wonder Woman, dragons (I do like dragons) a Phoenix, cherry blossom… Sponge Bob and his starfish friend…

Also, since we are assuming surgery, I needed to bump my crown work up to prior to surgery consult. I have a cracked tooth… Of course… LOL. Now it takes halcion for me to survive a trip to the dentist (for him to survive the trip?) anyway, my dentist is on vacation so I’m seeing a new guy. Thank God for the rx right? Wait… Not so fast first pharmacy says they can’t fill it because he is approved for a class to write HIGHER doses…. Made no sense. At the risk of looking like a felon… (Which is about how it feels just buying cold meds) I go to another pharmacy and explain the whole deal, it doesn’t make sense to them either…. They dig around and say they can’t fill it cuz his DEA license is current but his license to practice dentistry… according to their database is not…. They said another pharmacy’s database may have different data…. Appointment is not until Wednsday, so I’m sure we will figure it out…

If any horse tranquilizers go missing from any local vet office – it wasn’t me, and I have an alibi….

Pain report? Still hurts. Get to change dressings today….. Oooooooooweeeeeeeeeee 😯

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 4: WOWZA… the pain…

Day 4: WOWZA… the pain…

Lots of pain and bruising at the biopsy sites. Not cool. The question I woke up with was… Can you get a custom wig made with your own hair? Now keep in mind – I have no idea if I will even need to… But “type a” planning brains want to think it all through… If not maybe I’ll do Marilyn Monroe wig… Or classic Cher… Or keep people guessing and alternate between the two… Just can’t see myself rolling without any…

I also woke up to the lyrics of “What’s the frequency Kenneth?” Hmmm… Only my radio and 80’s friends will get that one.

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Day 3a: OHMYHECK!

Day 3: OHMYHECK! Love you guys! They placed three metal markers in/near the masses. The ultrasound biopsy was far less painful – but Lefty is a grumpy butt anyway – so it hurt. Hurts now. They had a hard time getting the bleeding to stop – nothin like adding pressure to something you have poked, prodded and taken a few bites out of… And the cherry on top was the mammogram at the end. Oy! By the end I did have the Dr. sold on the laser beam concept – he even said that the metal markers could assist with accuracy! I’m telling you… It could be a behavior modification tool for those who have more conversation with breasts than eyeballs! I did like the Austin Powers small firearms idea that Nick tossed out – but weapons instructor Griff was quick to point out potential recoil issues. Truth. Important things to consider!

It’s gonna smart tonight – should have a call next Tuesday with info. Can’t do much of anything for 3 days. Which is perhaps the worst of all. y’all

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

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Day 3 – Biopsy day.

Day 3 – Biopsy day.

I finally read the brochure. Apparently I will have a marker placed during the stereo biopsy… Like a treasure map!? Will I have to worry about pirates now? Of course it is a “stereo” ultrasound, so maybe they are installing a headset jack!? Or maybe Bluetooth?

Gotta admit I’m a little less enthused about the morning after reading the brochure and glad they will give me a little something to take the edge off. Double bonus – I won’t be able to do much of anything all weekend but whine and work – so I should be getting caught up on some work stuff.

Today is the first step toward answers. Looking forward to some pathology data.

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 2: Medical team is moving fast…

Day 2: Medical team is moving fast…

Gotta hand it to the medical team, surgeons office just called to schedule me… Um… ok… who are you again and what are we scheduling? Consult… next Friday. Remove just ol’lefty the suicidal one or take his relatively healthy good looking sister on the right at the same time? Good question. But… biopsies have not even happened yet. Sure… I am fine. Can I get a new set with laser beams or something? I mean that would be pretty cool right? And you can’t just do one… because in about 10 years that will look ridiculous.

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 1: KillerLeftBoob….

Day 1: KillerLeftBoob….

So… apparently my left breast is trying to kill me. Rude of it really. I asked the doctor if I could have a copy of the ultrasound pictures to post on Facebook – I was going to ask you all to guess the gender. tongue emoticon

Tomorrow is biopsy time – 3 of them. Two are ultrasound and one is radio. So really, we won’t and don’t have any answers until mid-next week when those tests come back. That is when we get the what, how badly and recommended treatment plan. Potential good news, the lymph nodes under my arms look good on the ultrasound.

Right now, I am contemplating the benefits of being an Amazon… I imagine my golf swing would improve…. and I am ambidextrous… so archery is something I should consider taking up again…

I am the kind of person that likes to tackle things head on. The topic is not off limits guys. I would rather talk about it. This is my next adventure.

‪#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ #‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬