Day 47: Strange Sensations…

Remember the Twilight Zone episode, “Eye of the Beholder?” In this episode, the doctors and nurses are horrified and disappointed with the results of the surgery, and at the end of the episode, two patients afflicted with the same condition are headed into exile to a village of their own kind, a man stops them before they leave the hospital and says, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  That scene is going through my head as I look ahead to Wednesday’s post operative appointment.  I will be excited to get the bandages off for the first time and of course I will be curious to see how it all looks.

Four days post operative and I am definitely experiencing some new sensations.  There is new pain, nothing startling or unexpected.  Just new.  There is the phantom pain from a nipple that is no longer there – I swear it still hurts.  And of course… let the itching begin.  I also have a new sensation from the drains, that one is a little harder to describe.  Almost feels like one drain is having a muscle spasm – similar to an eye twitch – around where I “think” it is stitched into my body.  That is one of the stranger things.  I am wrapped up tight in an ace wrap, from where my breasts used to be down to my belly button.  I have no idea what it looks like under there.  I only know that nothing has bled through.

Great news is that there is less fluid today in all of the drainage bulbs and there are fewer clots in the drainage tubes.  (So much EW!) This is all good stuff to celebrate.  I am optimistic that the JP drains will come out on Wednesday.  Right now my torso looks a little like Diva Plavalaguna’s head.. well… except I have grenade looking bulbs of fluid at the end of my “tentacles” and I am a little more human color and less blue today.  Mom says that has been a daily improvement.  Seriously though, can’t wait to be rid of those drains.  Mom and Rick have been troopers emptying those out every 8 hours.

I am also noticing how numb my chest is in areas.  This strange sensation of numbness from missing and damaged nerves and pain.  This will take some getting used to.

Having the sentinel nodes removed has also created a little swelling in my legs, I think.  Although I have been a little active (no volleyball or marathons), I have been good at resting, had to switch it up a little to get my legs above my heart for a bit.  More research to do there too.

Bottom line is that there is a reaction for every action taken.  Now I have to make sure I understand what they are, how to recognize them and how to mitigate them.  Having lymph nodes removed is actually a slightly bigger deal than the mastectomies.

Tomorrow’s big challenge may be bathing in some way.  I appreciate that the doctor has me all wrapped up tight to minimize exposure and reduce the chances of losing the tissue he saved for the rebuild.  However, I do miss the bathing thing a little.  It is possible that the people around me miss it for me more… 😛

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