Author: Tammey

Tammeyhttps://killerleftboob.wordpress.comI was diagnosed with breast cancer in February of 2015, this blog is me sharing my journey. So yeah... we are going to be talking about booby cancer and such. Shhh….. in fact we will probably cover other shhhsh worthy topics like nipple reconstruction too. You’ve been warned. In fact, those boobies gracing the top of this page are the topic of discussion… well… really the cancer is more correctly the topic. This started out as me just sharing with friends on Facebook, and one of them said, “Hey… why aren’t you blogging this?” So here it is. I spend my days as the COO/Executive Director for a nonprofit and volunteering to better my community… Well… when I am not busy fighting cancer.
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Day 57: Authenticity… or is it authen-tit-tit-y

Day 57: Authenticity… or is it authen-tit-tit-y

So it was a busy day today, started with a construction meeting this morning, and some desk work sandwiched between that and the finance committee meeting and then the fundraising committee meeting.  The end of the day was a business after hours I really wanted to attend but ran out of energy, and honestly I felt a little awkward about.  Why you may wonder?

To put it simply: faux boob or not to faux boob… that was the question

Getting dressed this morning, Continue reading →

Day 54-56: Beach and back to work…

Day 54-56: Beach and back to work…

Sunday was a great day of beach relaxation and felt like I had a day away from the diagnosis, potential treatments and thinking about the decisions ahead. Much needed and I am thankful for the mental day away.

Yesterday was the first day back at the office, made it through the half a day I scheduled myself and it felt good to have a relatively normal day.  Today I schedule time with the Naturopathic Oncologist.  I must admit, it would be easy to just go back to “normal” and avoid dealing with the possible potential remaining cancer that the oncologist and surgeon worry is still present.

No head in the sand though.  No matter how soothing that might sound at times.  🙂

#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 51-53: Cancer math madness…

Day 51-53: Cancer math madness…

Well… This has been a tough one to write.  I’m parsing through all the data and many emotions.
Many of you know that I saw the oncologist Thursday and things have been quiet since then… I am learning “cancer math.”  Cancer math reminds me of my marketing classes while I was pursuing masters of business.  My classmate Britt and I kept getting stuck on how certain numbers were derived, in class one day in total frustration, I decided that there were horses and unicorns and that marketing math was filled with unicorns made from assumptions based on some level of experience but truly they are assumptions and not tangible reality.  We will refer to cancer math as “kitten unicorn cancer math.”

Continue reading →

Day 50: Post-op, pathology, staging, decisions and drains oh my!

Day 50: Post-op, pathology, staging, decisions and drains oh my!

WOW!  Where to start.  Today is a very mixed bag of good news and not so great news.  I am going to let the words flow through my fingers and try not to over think it.

Starting with some of the good news from the post-op appointment.  The drains are out and the surgical sites look FABULOUS.  The tissue is healthy and clear and it truly looks great.  Having the drains removed did smart a little bit, ok, right drain #2 smarted a lot… and I dropped the “F-bomb” again… but the doctor was very understanding.  Having the staples removed did not hurt at all.  I am still a day away from a shower though.

Pathology report was not what I was hoping for, Continue reading →

Day 49: Getting my hairs set….

Day 49: Getting my hairs set….

I remember great gran going to get her hair “set” – gonna try that today.  I simply have not figured out a way to stay safely dry while washing my hair here at home.  Not to mention the whole hands above the head thing.  Hmm…. Pretty much everyone has offered to help, but honestly, the salon chair seems the safest bet.  Shoot… might even put on some make-up…  the photo is of course my anticipated after… LOL

Strange dream last night – for those of you who are into dream interpretation.  I dreamt Continue reading →

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Day 48: Itching for normal

Day 48: Itching for normal….

Oh today… this day… this day it feels like a thousand little ants are crawling around my chest under the bandages… the itching has truly begun.  Of course this is a good good thing. I keep telling myself.  The drainage amounts are much lower, which is great, and although I have spared you all actual images of what the drainage tubes look like, in this picture you can see my puffy abdomen, which is actually the JP Drainage bulbs tucked into my Softee Roo tank.  I actually went out in public like this today… to the grocery store!  **GASP**

The grocery store was mentally far more difficult than it was physically.  With the drains in place, I was Continue reading →

Day 47: Strange sensations…

Day 47: Strange Sensations…

Remember the Twilight Zone episode, “Eye of the Beholder?” In this episode, the doctors and nurses are horrified and disappointed with the results of the surgery, and at the end of the episode, two patients afflicted with the same condition are headed into exile to a village of their own kind, a man stops them before they leave the hospital and says, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  That scene is going through my head as I look ahead to Wednesday’s post operative appointment.  I will be excited to get the bandages off for the first time and of course I will be curious to see how it all looks.

Four days post operative and I am definitely experiencing some new sensations.  Continue reading →

Day 46: Even on drugs we can’t pull one over on ya…

IMG_0957Day 46: “Even on drugs we can’t pull one over on ya…”

That is a quote from my mom.  We went for coffee and stopped by the post office, everyone assured me we had the key.. on the way out… Rick and mom had empty hands.  I saw mom digging in the recycle for coupons… she has a black belt in shopping and is a coupon ninja… I said to sis… “Good God… mom is diving in the recycle bin for coupons” – little did I know that was just because they were trying to throw me off and pretend that all that was in the mailbox was junk mail.  Not sure if I still have my wits about me regardless of the drugs or if they are just poor at trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  😉  And I have inside information, Amazon sent me a text, I know I have packages… 😛

Emptying the drains still smarts a little.  My sister says Continue reading →

Day 45: Let the healing begin…

Day 45: Let the healing begin…

Well, I ain’ gonna lie, it is weird not having boobs and even weirder having four drainage tubes with little grenade looking bulbs filling with fluid attached to your body.  Yep.  It’s just plain weird.

We just went through the process of emptying those little things, wish I could say it didn’t smart… but it did.  There is one particularly sensitive one and the fact that you are supposed to pull along the drainage tube to make sure it is empty of “old” fluids and clear of clots ads to the fun.  Doctor wants us to do this every 8 hours – we are currently recruiting volunteers for the 3am shift…

In other awesome news, I received some wonderful loves from Shannon, Fran & Bob and my team at the office.  A special thanks to Deanna for the delivery – and my apologies for sleeping through the visit.  I think I now understand what a dogs life is like.  Eat, sleep, go potty… repeat.  Once the pain meds kick in, I get a nice nap, but it seems I come out of that sleep as quickly as I fall into it.  Hopefully tonight will be more restful.  It is hard to get rest in the hospital.

Speaking of the hospital, I seriously experienced the best staff at Capital Medical Center.  From nuclear medicine, to the surgery nurse, the surgical team, anesthesiologists, recovery, night shift, everyone… absolutely amazing.  What they say about hospital food is pretty true though… 😛

But hey… look what mom made for dinner?  Pretty fabulous right?

Post op is April 1st… yes yes… April Fool’s Day.  Feels so appropriate yes?  Hope the lab results are back by then.

#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 44: Double D Day

Day 44: Double D Day

Surgery day is here!  Last day of messing with a bra was yesterday.  WHOO HOO!  The hospital is so excited about seeing me that they called and moved is to 10! YESSSS!  Sooner we start this the sooner I can have a glass of water for crying out loud!

So schedule is imaging at 10, surgery around 10:45.  So reality is I will probably be waking up around 5:30 pm.  It will be a late in the update.

Prayers for steady hands, good margins and a clear sentinel node!

#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬