Day 58: Another post-op appointment and the lympha-whatsy…

Day 58: Another post-op appointment and the lympha-whatsy…

Tomorrow morning is my next, maybe last, post-op appointment for this surgery anyway. I am guessing that they will be aspirating a little fluid – yuck.  But being that I have no feeling in this area anymore, I suspect it won’t be painful.  I hope??

I am looking forward to closing out this phase of the multiphase project called cancer.  There will be at least Continue reading

Day 57: Authenticity… or is it authen-tit-tit-y

Day 57: Authenticity… or is it authen-tit-tit-y

So it was a busy day today, started with a construction meeting this morning, and some desk work sandwiched between that and the finance committee meeting and then the fundraising committee meeting.  The end of the day was a business after hours I really wanted to attend but ran out of energy, and honestly I felt a little awkward about.  Why you may wonder?

To put it simply: faux boob or not to faux boob… that was the question

Getting dressed this morning, Continue reading

Day 51-53: Cancer math madness…

Day 51-53: Cancer math madness…

Well… This has been a tough one to write.  I’m parsing through all the data and many emotions.
Many of you know that I saw the oncologist Thursday and things have been quiet since then… I am learning “cancer math.”  Cancer math reminds me of my marketing classes while I was pursuing masters of business.  My classmate Britt and I kept getting stuck on how certain numbers were derived, in class one day in total frustration, I decided that there were horses and unicorns and that marketing math was filled with unicorns made from assumptions based on some level of experience but truly they are assumptions and not tangible reality.  We will refer to cancer math as “kitten unicorn cancer math.”

Continue reading

Day 50: Post-op, pathology, staging, decisions and drains oh my!

Day 50: Post-op, pathology, staging, decisions and drains oh my!

WOW!  Where to start.  Today is a very mixed bag of good news and not so great news.  I am going to let the words flow through my fingers and try not to over think it.

Starting with some of the good news from the post-op appointment.  The drains are out and the surgical sites look FABULOUS.  The tissue is healthy and clear and it truly looks great.  Having the drains removed did smart a little bit, ok, right drain #2 smarted a lot… and I dropped the “F-bomb” again… but the doctor was very understanding.  Having the staples removed did not hurt at all.  I am still a day away from a shower though.

Pathology report was not what I was hoping for, Continue reading

Day 49: Getting my hairs set….

Day 49: Getting my hairs set….

I remember great gran going to get her hair “set” – gonna try that today.  I simply have not figured out a way to stay safely dry while washing my hair here at home.  Not to mention the whole hands above the head thing.  Hmm…. Pretty much everyone has offered to help, but honestly, the salon chair seems the safest bet.  Shoot… might even put on some make-up…  the photo is of course my anticipated after… LOL

Strange dream last night – for those of you who are into dream interpretation.  I dreamt Continue reading

Gallery

Day 48: Itching for normal

Day 48: Itching for normal….

Oh today… this day… this day it feels like a thousand little ants are crawling around my chest under the bandages… the itching has truly begun.  Of course this is a good good thing. I keep telling myself.  The drainage amounts are much lower, which is great, and although I have spared you all actual images of what the drainage tubes look like, in this picture you can see my puffy abdomen, which is actually the JP Drainage bulbs tucked into my Softee Roo tank.  I actually went out in public like this today… to the grocery store!  **GASP**

The grocery store was mentally far more difficult than it was physically.  With the drains in place, I was Continue reading

Day 47: Strange sensations…

Day 47: Strange Sensations…

Remember the Twilight Zone episode, “Eye of the Beholder?” In this episode, the doctors and nurses are horrified and disappointed with the results of the surgery, and at the end of the episode, two patients afflicted with the same condition are headed into exile to a village of their own kind, a man stops them before they leave the hospital and says, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  That scene is going through my head as I look ahead to Wednesday’s post operative appointment.  I will be excited to get the bandages off for the first time and of course I will be curious to see how it all looks.

Four days post operative and I am definitely experiencing some new sensations.  Continue reading

Day 46: Even on drugs we can’t pull one over on ya…

IMG_0957Day 46: “Even on drugs we can’t pull one over on ya…”

That is a quote from my mom.  We went for coffee and stopped by the post office, everyone assured me we had the key.. on the way out… Rick and mom had empty hands.  I saw mom digging in the recycle for coupons… she has a black belt in shopping and is a coupon ninja… I said to sis… “Good God… mom is diving in the recycle bin for coupons” – little did I know that was just because they were trying to throw me off and pretend that all that was in the mailbox was junk mail.  Not sure if I still have my wits about me regardless of the drugs or if they are just poor at trying to pull the wool over my eyes.  😉  And I have inside information, Amazon sent me a text, I know I have packages… 😛

Emptying the drains still smarts a little.  My sister says Continue reading

Day 43 part 2: Friends, love and care packages.

Day 43 part 2: Friends, love and care packages.

Ok, in the midst of a meeting this afternoon I received the call from scheduling.  Check in is at 10:25 am.  Tonight my friends gave the ladies a right proper send off!

I don’t have the words to express the gratitude and love I have for these amazing people.  I am truly blessed.

It’s funny the things that emotionally get you.  The handwritten card that simply says “You are beautiful” when truly one of my biggest fears is finding my beauty again – yes I know, I am far more than my breasts, but the girls have been front and center most my life.  Hard to separate them from what makes you feel feminine and attractive.  The super soft PJs for hospital day.  The super comfy and super cool Tukwila FD “fighting for the cure” t-shirt.  The healing hands necklace and earrings.  Lip balm, tissue, super hero bracelet and super hero ring.  Facial cleansing towelettes. And so much more really.  All incredibly thoughtful tokens of love and friendship – thoughtfulness.  Perhaps most thoughtful of all was making the night “normal” amidst the chaos.

I had struggled with a ceremony for saying goodbye to the girls… And in a way that only a loving friend could, Mary wrote a prayer and shared it with us all tonight.  Yes in a bar.  Yes, at the “Last night at Bob’s with Boobs” gathering.

Tammey’s Prayer

Friends, family, acquaintances and strangers:

We have gathered here this evening to celebrate the life of Tammey and her girls, haute right boob and her evil twin, killer left boob.

The girls have given Tammey a good time, but now they’re giving her a bad time. We understand they must go in sacrifice so that we may enjoy Tammey for many more years to come.

So, Heavenly Father, we ask for your blessings for Tammy and her team of caregivers.
May you grant the surgeons plenty of rest tonight, a good cup of coffee in the morning and steady hands during surgery.

May her caregivers, family and friends have patience, understanding, a sense of humor and the ability to apply lots of TLC.

Please continue to provide Tammey with patience, tenacity and her sense of humor to help her heal through this process you have challenged her with.

And finally, we thank Tammey for her infectious positive attitude and her willingness to share this adventure with all of us.

We love you, Tammey and pray for the best!

AMEN!
And now, let’s toast!

Tomorrow the storm clouds part and I find the moment of calm as I drift away under the anesthetic. I will be visualizing good margins and a clean lymph node.  If you get a chance, would you please take a moment and do the same.  🙂

Wishing you all abundant blessings.

#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬

Day 43: She’s radioactive!

Day 43: She’s radioactive!

So… Had preop, they gave me a nice body wash as a parting gift… And loads of stuff to read. . Had some more blood drawn… It’s like the lab just can’t get enough of me… Had the subarealor injection with the peeps in nuclear medicine… it hurt like hell… and I d

ropped the f-bomb (sorry Mom). Radiologist felt bad, nuclear med nurse said it was ok. They did put a bobo aid on it and face it… Bandaids fix anything! . I’m s’pose to massage those nuclear isotopes 3-5 minutes at least four times between now and the yet to be determined surgery date in the morning. Theme song for the day “I Touch Myself” by Chrissy Amphlett/Divinyls. Which is not short of irony – like many things along this little adventure:

Preop instructions say something about no alcohol and needing an adult to drive me home from the hospital. Seriously… I feel they need to set more appropriate goals for people having surgery. Just sayin’

#‎strongerthancancer‬ ‪#‎embracingtheadventure‬ ‪#‎killerleftboob‬ ‪#‎hawtrightboob‬ ‪#‎breastcancer‬